The woman who showed me unconditional love

I think I was in High School the first time actually started to wonder what "unconditional" love really was. I heard of true love, puppy love, lust, love love.... like and what not but I was not sure I ever really knew what unconditional love felt like. To love someone, so deeply, so truly, that no matter what they did to disappoint you.... you still could find love for them. Hummmmm - that's pretty heavy stuff! I had had my share of disappointments and hurts already at the ripe old age of 16 ...... and I thought I could love unconditionally but I don't think I ever really achieved that. I thought love was about mushy stuff like boyfriend/girlfriend stuff, something that, at the age of 16, I wanted so desperately.

It never really hit me, until I think I became a mother the FULL meaning of UNCONDITIONAL love. I know my kids are not teenagers yet.. and some of you are like.... just wait Anna.... the best is yet to come... LOL. But I get it.... I know that I am FULLY capable of UNCONDITIONAL love. It is all because of one woman. Maria Gomez Valenzuela. My maternal grandmother., technically my only grandmother..... I consider myself very fortunately to have known and loved her my whole life and still share this earth with her.


Mary, what most people call her, has had a hard life. She was the oldest of 18 kids! Yes.... 18!! (please note that the Gomez family was a very, very, good catholic family. :) She pretty much was a mother to half of her siblings. She worked at a young age, she cooked and cleaned for her very, busy mother. At age 18 she married, then later became a mother of 5, with a husband who was in the military for 20 years. She worked full time, she raised some of her own grandchildren. She did it all with a loving heart.

Every-time, I was lucky enough to go to Grandma Mary's on the weekends, I would find candy in unexpected places (like my back pocket)..... I had hours of fun playing in her big backyard. She taught me how to crochet. She taught me how to play solitaire..... she gave me first sip of wine cooler... shhhhhh..... But the most important thing she ever showed me was how to love, unconditionally, by just being herself. She was always doing things for others, when sometimes she had just enough for herself. I remember going out for a happy meal with her...... we saw a homeless person on the corner and she gave up her meal for him. She showed me family always comes first. Like I said, she had and still has a lot of siblings... I don't think there is a day that goes by that she does not talk to one of them, or one of us, her offspring.

The first time she ever saw my first born child..... she held him in her arms and she cried. I was beyond moved. I could not believe my grandmother, who had so many brothers and sisters, plus her own children and her oodles of grandchildren was holding her own great grandchild and crying. I asked her why and she said because he was beautiful and because he was a part of me. I thought, yes, he is, he's a part of her, too!

A few months after that day, I was talking with my brother and I told him about that incident.... He was like... Yah, dude, Grandma Mary has a lot of love. I think it hit me right then and there...... She has endless amounts of unconditional love to give us all. I know there are times we (her family - me included) probably have disappointed her with a poor decision here or there... but she never, never stopped loving us, not one of us. She loves us all, all equally, all unconditionally. She has 5 kids, 11 grandkids and 9 great grandchildren. That's a lot of LOVE! At a very young age, she lost one of her own children, he was still a baby. They buried him in the local cemetery. She still goes to visit him, weekly. She cleans his grave, picks weeds and brings him flowers. She is 83. She planted a tree for Christopher, when he was buried there less than a year. (I need to go and photograph that tree) It's huge. It's shady, it's roots are deeply rooted in love. She amazes me. She inspires me. She loves me, unconditionally, how lucky am I?

Here is my Grandma with my two very, lucky children, and my mom too! Can't you feel the love?
xo,
Anna